Tuesday, March 14, 2006

My Social Ineptitude Explained

Now personally I think the whole thing reeks just a little of navel-gazing but, courtesy of Kottke, I found this interesting article on being introverted. The article was published three years ago and such was it's popularity, it drew more traffic than any article ever posted on The Atlantic's website, they've just ran an interview with the writer, Jonathon Rausch. I can easily see why the reaction has been so strong. There must have been so many people, like me, sitting up in their seats and going 'hey, that's me'. Now I kind of clicked to it some time ago but I did spend a long, long time wondering what was wrong. There are still any number of people I know who think I'm snobbish, arrogant, anti-social or just plain weird. Some people won't talk to me at all anymore. At one stage, some years back, this lass I was particularly friendly with announced that she would no longer talk to me if I bumped into her in the pub. In short, she could not cope with me in a social setting because, while I was happy to chat away with her, I couldn't mingle with her friends. We talk now but I doubt she ever actually got it. It's hard for people to grasp because I don't mind being in certain social situations, just so long as I'm allowed to remain peripheral to the action. I can get very animated in conversation but, more often than not, I'd prefer to be left out of it. And no matter how fond I am of someone, there are times that I really just need to be left alone. And a point that I'd never really been able to put my finger on, or articulate, comes up in the interview. 'Small talk takes conscious effort and is very hard work,' explains Rausch. In a sense my brain just isn't wired for chit-chat. I have to think about what I'm going to say next. I can't just run with the natural flow of a conversation. Sometimes when I go to the shop, I start compiling a set of stock answers in case the shop-keeper tries to start a conversation. Of course, there never any use because I really have no understanding of small talk, so I'm incapable of preparing for it. Anyway, fuck it, I get by fine but the article and the interview are well worth a read. Chances are, you know someone just like that too.