Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Pergo Ceasefire Porn For The Ambassador's Little Friend

I have no real idea what Pergo Flooring is but, apparently, Paris Hilton is very keen that I should have some. The industrious little minx is also selling replica rolex watches through her already thriving dressing gown business. It's a wonder she has time for all that partying and whatever else it is she actually does.

Italy have offered to send troops to police the ceasefire in South Lebanon - but only if Israel promises not to break it. I hereby voluteer for the Garda Reserve, so long as I get a guarantee that no one will actually break the law while I'm on duty.

Swedish state broadcaster decided to beef up it's news output by running hardcore porn in the background during a bulletin. Interestingly, while the tabloid press made a big deal of it, no viewers actually complained.

Liam Kelly, the Fianna Fail councillor apparently photographed snorting cocaine, is refusing to step down from his post. Sources within the party have suggested he should resign but he doesn't care, he'll take them all on. The bastards are all out to get him. He's been set-up. They don't know who they're messing with. Say hello to his little friend.

The US Ambassador to Ireland has warned Ireland that any attempts to rip-off tourists visiting for the Ryder Cup could seriously damage the Irish tourism industry. But it won't matter because everyone involved will be rich and able to retire, surely. And anyway, it's not like we're detaining people without trial and torturing them, is it?